SELF-HELP for learning to live with loss - Grief and loss processing, how do you do that?

SELF-HELP for learning to live with loss - Grief and loss processing, how do you do that?

A marriage, partnership or relationship does not always last...

 

INTRODUCTION

 

How nice that you found this blog!!!

Many people find it difficult to ask for help and therefore keep putting it off. There is no need to continue to suffer for so long! Talking during this period is important. Tell your story to everyone you trust and who wants to hear it.

Self-help is a good way to clear up a lot of old pain.

 

There are people who need many years to get over a (real) divorce with all the quarrels and problems, but it can also become a kind of escape behavior. An excuse to withdraw yourself from everything and not to face certain confrontations. You are only living half, not living to the fullest of your potention.

 

Some of the advice discussed here may be tailor-made for you, others may not. Please be kind to yourself and use the means you feel attracted to, and leave the rest as it is.

The breakup of a marriage or relationship or another loss puts a lot into perspective. You no longer see the world in the same way at that moment.

 

Grab a notebook or buy one for your notes and to look through at a later moment.

What went through your mind when you decided to break up? ……..

 

Grief is the other side of love. Grief and loss processing is a process that people go through when they suffer a loss, such as a divorce. Or for example if you were as a child in an abusive relationship between your parents, because your father was an alcoholic, or drugs addict. And drinking or drugs also pulls at you.

This is how you can grieve when you lose someone you love through death or through alcohol, drugs. You also grieve when you notice that you are losing your partner by divorce, (also by dementia), your ideals, your work, your health or your expectations for the future. Or when you missed the security in your family as a child. All those who have had to deal with incest, being a victim or a perpetrator. Or if your son or daughter has ended up in prison, or if you or a loved one is disabled.

Also when you are a war victim (1st or 2nd generation), you can deal with a lot of grief and other feelings through loss processing.

 

Disbelief, anger, sadness, fear and worries all play a role in this.

Mourning and loss are part of our lives. Without mourning, you cannot re-attach. Every person grieves in his/her own way. But there is precisely why people need each other, so that they feel supported and respected and can share feelings with each other in this way.

 

In approximately 5 parts of the day, personal loss processing is supported and substantiated with short, clear theory.

 

Set goals for yourself: (schrift)

1. How would you like to leave this self-help course?.......

2. What are you willing to do to get there?.......

3. How far have you progressed in your processing (0 – 10)?.......

4. What have you done so far to process since your loss?.......

5. How do you view being alone or being abandoned?.......

6. Do you have physical complaints. If so, do you take medication?.......

7. Do you have a particular philosophy of life?.......

 

Antidepressants usually prolong the process, but they do help you through the initial shock. What you can't or don't want to see today will remain until tomorrow. A relaxant can be useful. Try to avoid alcohol and drugs.

There is a connection between negative feelings and unreasonable thoughts.

8. Have you ever thought about ending your life?.......

(Seek help from your GP, you don't have to be ashamed if you feel powerless).

 

This process is actually about a bit of awareness, what you can do to get through a difficult period with SELF-help.

By becoming aware and working on your Self, you learn to get your emotions under control.

 

Extra support

Massage

Stored emotions in your body can also be released by having a massage.

 

Reiki: You can seek additional help through a spiritual healing treatment. (restore your connection with the cosmos through laying on of hands)

 

Meditations (that you can do regularly)

1. Place a white rose as a symbol of unconditional love in your heart.... Take a moment with your eyes closed to visualize it. You don't have to see it. The intention is enough. Send this soft energy to sore points, places in your body that could use some extra support……. 

 

2. Visualize the golden Sun in and around you. And let the sunlight flow through you, through your feet deep into the earth. Close your eyes to concentrate on this. Take a moment to build up the energy. With this you restore the connection between the cosmos, mother earth and yourself. You àre that connection. (Like a battery you literally charge yourself with solar energy, which reduces your fatigue and eventually makes it disappear) 

Send some light to those spots in your body that could use some extra attention. But that have been neglected because your thoughts were elsewhere. We are beings of light. When we feel good about ourselves, we shine. You can work towards that again. Do grant it to yourself.

 

You have replenished your shortages of Love and Light. And with that you are now empowering yourself!

 

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