3. The Quadrant
Today we start by grounding ourselves with sunlight. When the sun is
shining, it is a bit easier. But even when it is cloudy or raining, you can do
this visualization exercise. You don't have to actually see the sun, just
thinking about it is enough to connect with it. The sun is always there.
Stand in the sun or imagine that
it is above your head, and let the light flow inside, from above your crown
through your head and neck. Then the sunlight flows through your left arm and
hand, and through your right arm and hand. You let the sun come in again
through your crown and send it down your body, bit by bit, to your neck and
back, your throat, your chest, heart, diaphragm, belly, lower abdomen. From
there you let the light shine through your pelvis, legs and feet and send that
light deep into the earth.
Once again, you invite the
sunlight to go through your crown, to your spine and illuminate it completely,
up to and including your tailbone. And from there you send that light, as
roots, deep into the earth. You now have 3 anchor points, your 2 feet and your
tailbone. Or you can visualize the sun deep down into the Earth, as well as in
the cosmos and being a radiating Sun yourself. So above, so below.
With that, you are well grounded.
You also feel stronger, standing more firmly in your shoes. You have loaded
your ‘battery’, yourself with light energy.
If you prefer to imagine yourself as a tree, your arms as
branches, and from your feet and tailbone shoot roots deep into the earth, so
that you are firmly anchored, then that is of course also a good way to ground
yourself, and to stand firmly with both feet on the ground.
Relaxing
When there is pain or emptiness,
our senses and our heart close to a greater or lesser extent (we see, hear,
feel, smell, taste less). In this way we cut ourselves off from the world
around us. If we close our heart, because it can no longer contain any more
painful feelings, then we also cut ourselves off from the fun things in life.
We control our emotions and feelings in that case, by freezing the movements of
our body. We clench our jaws, we may tense our neck and stomach, or clench our
fists and suppress our breathing.
Your emotions (showing your
feelings) and feelings that are inside of us, but that you do not show, are
released by letting go of your held tension. (Sports, walking or cycling can
already release a lot of this tension.) Also going to the tense spot(s) with
your thoughts, and consciously relaxing them give good results. For example,
your tongue is tight against your palate. Go to the hyoid bone, deep in the
back of your throat with the muscles around it. Drop your lower jaw (and your
shoulders) and hold this position for a while.
Remember that YOU are the
director (and actor) of your own life. And that you determine how you fill in
your role in your life and life.
Are
you in balance? Please indicate in percentages what the distribution
looks like for you, together 100%:
1. Physical ) ... %
2. Mental ) ... %
3. Emotional ) ... % the quadrant
4. Spiritual ) ... %
There
are four types of pain: The physical part, the intellectual part, the
emotional part, and the intuitive, spiritual part.
Feelings can get stuck. This can
manifest itself in physical, psychological, emotional and spiritual complaints.
Learn to listen to the signals that your body gives you.
Where is yóur pain located?
1. The physical pain - in your body
Your body is your best friend.
And never lies.
We often take it for granted that
our body functions well. When our body lets us down, we often hold doctors
responsible for making it better. We must learn to take back that
responsibility ourselves, by listening better to the signals from our body.
Do you have a throbbing,
stabbing, nagging, sharp pain? What does your
body want to tell you with this?
Just ask your body.
Assignment: Give each feeling a color and indicate in the figure above where these
feelings are located in you?
AFRAID
ANGRY
SADNESS
PAIN
SHAME
GUILT
HAPPY
And write down: whèn do you have these feelings?.......
Assignment: Look at yourself (notebook)
1. How do you deal with the signals from your body?.......
2. How was your body talked about and thought about in your
youth?.......
3. Were you allowed to talk about it when you did not feel
well or were tired?.......
4. Were you listened to?.......
5. Were the pain or fatigue allowed at home?.......
6. How was illness and physical needs talked about and
thought about?.......
7. Does the way you learned to
deal with your body in the past,of still influence the way you deal with it
now?.......
2. The intellectual pain - in your thoughts / mind
The intellect often overshadows
the emotional and intuitive parts of the quadrant. From a young age, we put
almost all of our energy into developing our body and mind. It seems as if
feelings and intuition are of a lower order. All parts of the quadrant are
inextricably linked. We must learn to use all of our tools optimally.
Positive, but also negative
thoughts evoke a physical reaction in you, do you recognize that?.......
RET Rational Emotive Therapy emphasizes
your thoughts and beliefs:
1. Is your thought real?.......
2. Are you sure that thought is real?.......
2a. Are you sure?....... Or are there any adjustments that
need to be made?.......
3. How do you react when you have that thought?.......
4. Who or what are you without that thought?.......
5. Think of the opposite…….
The moment you are living in nów is reality, not fantasy.
Look again at your notes, which
are in chapter 2 The grieving process is a process of change, where you have
placed your positive and negative thoughts next to each other.
Have you already been able to
switch your thoughts to a more positive view of your life!?....... Or was that
not necessary at all?.......
Then
work your associated emotions out of your body (look at the drawing of you as a person with
your colored feelings. What do you want to let go of?)
1. Beat out your emotions in a safe environment, for
example with a piece of garden hose or rope on a pillow and shout why you have
those emotions. You can also do this when you are sporting, like playing
soccer, tennis, hockey, paddle, kickboxing or another sport where you can kick
or hit……..
2. Kick a shoebox across the
room, while you express your frustrations……..
3. Chew: consciously chew on a
piece of gum, and tell yourself what is bothering you……
4. Write on a piece of paper why
you are angry, scared, sad, feeling guilty, ashamed, etc. Stick this paper on
the door. Make balls from pairs of rolled up socks and throw them against the
paper, while shouting why you have this feeling…….
5. Grab a pile of old newspapers
and start tearing them up, while telling what is bothering you……..
6. Play with clay, do sports, (line)
dance, walk, cycle, sing/shout loudly in the car……..
Your suppressed, pent-up feelings may be expressed and then shoot
loose.
Everything helps to get your emotions under control.
Assignment: Look at yourself (notebook)
1. How were intellectual achievements dealt with at home?.......
2. Were you said you were stupid or smart?.......
3. Were you rewarded or punished for it?.......
4. How do you experience yourself
intellectually?....... Does this image that you have of yourself contribute to
your self-confidence?.......
Comments such as 'Your own fame
stinks' or 'Just act normal, that's crazy enough' can dampen your
self-confidence.
If something like this happened
to you as a young person, you can now still decide to ignore such a comment.
And leave it with the other person. Which will immediately boost your
self-image.
3. The emotional pain - in your
feelings
Feelings are natural. They are
our tools to deal with situations. (Your body is your best friend!) An emotion
is a way in which you express yourself.
For a long time, our society paid
little attention to our feelings. Emotions are often associated with being
weak, powerless, feminine and childish.
After World War II, there was a
lot of attention for the material side of life. Slowly but surely, we see a new
stream of consciousness coming into being. We increasingly realize that our
feelings are important messengers. They tell you what is going on with you. The
language of your feelings is the means to keep in touch with yourself.
Feelings are beautiful. They do
need your attention to be felt, expressed, known and understood. They make a
great contribution to our inner growth, to our health, but also to our ability
to live and communicate with others. Distorted feelings arise when you suppress
your natural emotional processes (had to suppress: for example: 'just go stand
in the hallway when you are angry, and come back when it is over'. Or 'Are you
going to sit down and cry? We don't do that here'. Or: 'Come on, be brave, we
are not afraid'! But also when you were loud and happy as a child: 'Hey, can
you be a bit quiet?' or when you were sad: 'Big girl', 'big boy').
Assignment: Look at yourself (notebook)
1. How were your feelings viewed
at home in the past?.......
2. Were you allowed to express
your dissatisfaction, such as anger, fears, but also your exuberant joy?.........
3. Were you talked about things
that were important to you?.......
4. How were sadness, anger, pain,
fear and joy dealt with at home in the past?.......
5. What influence does that have
on you nòw?....... How do you deal with each of these feelings now?.......
6. How is the emotional balance
in your life?.......
4. Intuitive / spiritual pain – in your premonition
When you follow your feelings,
you will reach your intuition. Your intuition is a gateway to powers that go
beyond the five senses (hearing, seeing, feeling, smelling, tasting). You can
open this gateway by being on good terms with your feelings. Dare to listen to
them and you will reach your premonition, also called gut feeling. It is an
inner source, our connection with the cosmos, that tells us something about
impending situations or things that will happen, without being confirmed by
your five senses. Carrying unresolved issues or not facing certain emotions and
feelings, can hinder your intuitive development.
In people who are not fully
developed intellectually or physically, the intuitive and/or emotional part of
the quadrant is often more developed. It is a natural law that an undeveloped
part of the quadrant is filled by another part.
Assignment: Take a look at yourself (notebook)
1. How did people think and talk
about intuition, your premonition, at home?.......
2. Was it allowed to exist?.......
Or was it suppressed?....... (There are people who are clairvoyant,
claircognizant or clairsentient.)
3. How do you dealing with your
intuition now?....... Do you trust your premonition or do you ignore it?.......
4. Are there experiences of which
you say: They have to do with my intuition, my premonition?.......
For later, at another moment:
Stimulate movement of your body. Go for a nice walk, cycle, do sports, get a
massage, or follow an online yoga class. Look up a relaxation meditation on the
internet, and treat yourself to this exercise. Bring ‘playing’ back into your
life, go swinging.
Listening to calm music can also
bring you back to ‘yourself’.
During a period of mourning, you
can also enjoy everything that life has to offer you. In fact, it helps you
shorten your period of mourning.
--:--
Geen opmerkingen:
Een reactie posten